Self-Esteem for A Lifetime

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Product Description: (This book is great for parents, school teachers, College Professors, Children Advocates, Nursery School Teachers, Aunts, Uncles, Males or Females. This book applies to all people who want to have a healthy inner life, peaceful, happy, able to cope, and able to go forward regardless of a situation in a way that will prove wise, healthy, and successful when the day is done.)

Self-esteem - ah, that everyone could be blessed with life time self-esteem. Self-Esteem is crucial in having a good self-image throughout ones life. Unfortunately, that does not occur very often or as often as might be nice. However, read this book and you will discover how to achieve good self-esteem that will last you for a life time. The author shares her "seasoned professional and personal experience and expertise"

Establishing good self esteem is crucial as an infant becomes as small child and then grows into those teen years and then as one grows into and through adulthood. Self-esteem influences the way your child socializes, achieves, loves, and makes decisions throughout his or her lifetime. And as one grows into adulthood, it is most crucial to establish a secure inner person... This great book will bring you thought provoking exercises and opportunities,-- opportunities to journal.

This book offers you the opportunity to become informed on tools for creating a home environment based on mutual respect and open communication. You will learn to listen and respond effectively, resolve conflicts, and to manage your anger and stress. You will learn to examine all of the relationships in the family, so you will know where to intervene if a problem develops.

This book is presented in practical, straightforward advice in user-friendly language. You will find a guilt-free approach here to empower you and offer a helping hand through the process of raising a successful child.

If you have never heard how to establish self-esteem within a child, or within yourself for that matter, this can be a great beginning guide for you. Although this is a lifetime process, it is probably one of the very most important things in life to teach a child, or to possess yourself. If you are able to establish self-esteem in your child, or if you are able to learn self-esteem within yourself (if you feel you don't already have good self-esteem), read,-- learn,-- choose to follow the suggestions, and then...live it.) And yes, it may take a little work, but good self-esteem is one of the most healthy characteristics to possess as one goes through life. So the work will be more than worth it. It will bring confidence and competence for you and your children.

Below, please find an article written by the author. I hope that this article will prove helpful and that it will encourage you to purchase the book to help form your little baby's new beginning and/or child or...to bring change to your own life, creating in you, a new you. A "you" that will live a happier, healthier, and more peaceful life:

ARTICLE:

Since self-esteem is a dynamic process, it is never too late to change how your children feel about themselves, Joanne, 82, who came to see me after her husband died,
is a dramatic example of how the relationships around us and the messages we receive shape our lives. The self-esteem messages we receive from others and send to ourselves influence all of our actions and decisions. At 82 years old, change is possible.

High self-esteem messages nurture relationships and help relationships to grow. A child, or any person for that matter, who is surrounded by these warm, encouraging, supportive, loving messages is more likely to thrive and feel successful. The following are examples of high self-esteem messages:

• Mother: “What a great kid!”
• Father: “I'm so proud to have you as a son!”
• Siblings: “He's not so bad ... ”
• Friends: “Fun to be with!”
• Teacher: “Very reliable!”

On the other hand, when a child is experiencing learning problems, emotional problems, family problems, and/or social problems, I guarantee that if you listen carefully you will hear frequent low self-esteem messages coming from several sources. For example:

• Mother: “You have no common sense.”
• Father: “You're a real good for nothing!”
• Siblings: “Why can't you be like me?”
• Friends: “You have nothing going for you.”
• Teacher: “You make my job miserable.”

One parent described her eleven-year-old daughter who was struggling academically and was transferred into a new, more appropriate academic program. With that, the young girl's status had changed and she was now referred to as "a bright child". Everyone interacted with her differently - her teacher, her parents, and her friends. What was the result? With the bombardment of all of these high self-esteem messages, her daughter began to approach everyday with enthusiasm and positive energy. Her performance in school improved dramatically.

A child who is constantly reminded that she is a troublemaker, a dummy, classroom clown, a real pain in the neck also rises to the occasion. This child often will do
everything to prove you are right. She won't read. She will disturb an entire classroom of children. As she gets older, she may become menace in your community, get involved with drugs and alcohol, and develop one problem after another.

We all love to hear the positive but it is unrealistic to think that everything will always flow in that direction. Certainly, all children receive both high and low self-esteem messages from their families, in school and from their friends.

High Self-Esteem Messages:

• Home: “I love you.”
• Peers: “I would like to be friends with you.”
• School: “We want you to be on our team.”

Low Self-Esteem Messages:

• Home: “You're not going to school looking like that.”
• Peers: “Get lost.”
• School: “If you were paying attention, you would know what we are doing.”

Give some thought to the high self-esteem and low self-esteem messages your children hear from day to day.

High Self-Esteem Messages:

• “You're very good at that!”
• “I enjoy being with you.”
• “You make me so proud of you.”
• “Didn't we have fun together?”
• Phone calls from friends.
• Invitations to birthday parties and other events.
• Happy faces, stars, etc. on school papers.
• Smiles - hugs - kisses.
• Feeling listened to.
• “You're such a great little person.”
• “You put a lot of effort into that.”

Low Self-Esteem Messages:

• “I'm not happy with you.”
• “You are so lazy.”
• “You are so small for your age.”
• “You're such a baby.”
• No phone calls – no invitations.
• Large black X's and slashes all over school papers.
• Dirty looks, frowns, being ignored.
• “Why don't you do something constructive
"You have no direction!”
• “You never accomplish anything.”
• “Can't you brush your hair?”
• “What happened to your grades? Your brother did much better than that.”
• “We don’t want you in our play!”
• “Do I have to sit next to her?”
• “Why can't you be like everyone else.”

Be An Advocate:

Let's not kid ourselves. All of us send low self-esteem messages to our children at various times. It is a question of how much they have to hear these messages. It is impossible to dictate to our childrens' teachers and our childrens' friends the messages they are sending to our children. In essence, there are times we have to roll with the punches. On the other hand, I see nothing wrong with a parent intervening on her child's behalf. In fact, I encourage you to be an advocate for your children. Meet with a teacher to hear the facts and to see if some of the difficulties can be resolved. Share your side of the story and work as a team. For some reason, many parents are hesitant to contact a child's teacher. Some say they don't want to make a big issue out of a situation. Others say they will wait until parent conferences or wait for the teacher to contact them. I disagree. This is your child. Express your interest and concern directly to the teacher. Don't wait for anything. Two heads are always better than one. Your child will respond to the fact that you and the teacher are collaborating as a team. Consider a teacher who becomes angry with a child for not paying attention on a daily basis. Perhaps, a change at home is distracting the child - a move to a new house, a grandparent who has moved in with the family, a
recent separation or divorce - any number of things. Meeting with a child's teacher opens the lines of communication. I'm often amazed at how little contact takes place between parents and the adult(s) who is/are responsible for their children six hours per day, five days per week, 40 weeks per year! Never hesitate to make a phone call or set up a meeting. Just a few minutes of discussion can make all the difference in the world for your child.

The same goes for your child’s relationships with friends. Children, unfortunately, can get out of hand with cruel remarks. Why should your child suffer unnecessarily? Often, a call to the school, or to a friend’s parent will shed some light on a situation. If your child’s behavior is part of the problem, perhaps, once you know the facts, you can help her to change her behavior and the situation. One mother talked of her son's recent experience in a pre-school summer camp at a local park. Her son was excluded from many activities, and in general, had a very negative experience. Only weeks later did she find out the root of the problem. Due to an allergic reaction, her son had a skin rash on his hands that looked awful! At that age, many activities require picking a partner and holding hands with your partner. All of the children began to notice the rash and reacted with shrieks, "yuk-s", etc. No one wanted him for their partner. He often was chosen last for activities, and of course, he felt so rejected. A quick phone call might have alerted the counselor to handle the situation differently. My message is - don't wait until a situation is out of control. It is your right as a parent to call a teacher, a counselor, a coach, dance (music) instructor or a friend's family to express concern and interest to resolve the problem at hand.

As the parent of adult children, I continue to observe how important my reactions are to my two daughters. I remind myself often to choose my words carefully and continue to practice all of the skills presented in this book. A steady diet of low self-esteem messages affect a child's behavior at home, at school, and with her/his peers. Consider each of us to possess a certain amount of energy, which we must divide amongst our various activities, relationships and involvements. If I had to make one general statement about these types of messages. I would say that they drain your energy. A child has very little, if any, energy left over to learn or to interact with others in healthy relationships.

• Low Self-Esteem Messages Drain Your Energy
• High Self-Esteem Messages Replenish Your Energy

Focusing On Strengths:

Focusing on each family member’s unique "specialness" is incredibly vital in order to make each person feel valued. When we feel important and appreciated for who we are, our self-esteem increases. I asked members of a parent group I facilitated to make a list of behaviors, qualities, or strengths they liked about their children. I suggested that we go around the group and share one or two of our items about each child. The most dramatic effect took place with each and every person around the room. Regardless of the child being discussed, there was a pride, a warmth, and a deep love that emerged everywhere. You could feel it and you certainly could see it.

"My daughter may have had her problems, but I must say she is courageous. It has been her courage that kept her going - trying out new situations."

"His sense of humor is contagious."

"I have never seen such a good natured child."

When you identify the positive qualities of a person, your energy will always shift. Looking for the positive will help you, particularly when the going gets rough. Certainly, when conflicts and problems develop, it is so easy for the list of strengths to vanish. For that reason, I suggest keeping a running list posted on the refrigerator. Acknowledging and simply remembering what you like about each child will have a definite impact on your behavior as a parent.

Best of luck with your family. Remember, there are no perfect parents!!! Dr. Ingrid Scweiger.

The above article was intended to give you an example of what you will find in this great book.

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Self-Esteem for A Lifetime

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